UPNG SLUT DIES!

Three years have passed since I last talked to Jenny, the girl whom I interviewed at the University of Papua New Guinea. That interview was to do with my research on prostitution being practiced by female students at that institution. My research findings showed that a majority of girls where or are involved in prostitution to sustain their living during their time at the University.

It was déjà vu for me when I accidently bumped into one of Jenny’s friends, she looked so paled and so used that I could hardly believe that this was the same bouncy girl three years back. She seemed somewhat older with all freshness of youth gone. I gave her a warmth smile and she acknowledged me in return with a smile that tried to hide that sadness. Nevertheless, her eyes could not lie as I directly observed it; I could sense there was a deeper sadness than what she was portraying to me. I quickly moved over to her and stretched my hand towards her in a gesture to shake hands. She reciprocated, and we stood there in the middle of Boroko next to POST PNG staring at each other. After spending some time talking about our UNI days and what each of us was doing, she paused a while then with teary eyes said Jenny had died last month. It shook me up and I was for somewhat a second disillusion, “how can this very young and beautiful lady die so young,” I asked? Her friend replied in a sad tone that Jenny had gone back to her village after falling ill earlier this month, and after being in the village for a week, she died. I tried to press her as to what illness was Jenny diagnosed with and how she succumbed to it but was left hanging has her friend intentionally avoided my questioned and told me she had to go before she missed the bus. ....To be continued in Part 4.

WHY WOMEN CHEAT?

The Scenario When Lovely and her husband moved to Port Moresby a few years ago, she had no friends close by and was alone frequently while her husband worked long hours. Though Lovely says her husband was the "best friend someone could have," the spark and sex were gone. Seeking company and a little romance, Lovely connected with her work colleagues. Lovely began an ongoing affair after a few dates with a few men in her office. "He was giving me all of the stuff my husband wasn't -- attention and affection," she says. The Reasons There are many reasons for infidelity such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction. But experts say that a large majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex or attention and women looking to fill an emotional void. "Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I didn't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly says. "They say they wanted to have someone who would look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again." Searching for an Emotional Connection Every affair is different, and so are every woman's reasons for her involvement. Nevertheless, Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her?andWhy We Love, says men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner. Women, she says, tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness. "Women tend to be more unhappy with the relationship they are in," Fisher says, "while men can be a lot happier in their primary relationship and also cheat. Women are more interested in supplementing their marriage or jumping ship than men are -- for men, it is a secondary strategy as opposed to an alternate." Fisher has found that 34% of women who had affairs were happy or very happy in their marriage. 56% of men who had affairs were happy in their marriage. Is It in a Woman’s Genes? The theory that adultery is "natural" for men, fulfilling their Darwinian need to spread their seed, has been around a long time. But the connection women look for when having affairs may have evolutionary roots as well. The theory, Fisher says, is that from the earliest days, women paired with a primary mate to have children. But as women went out to gather food, they slept with other men, creating an insurance policy to have someone who would help rear children and provide resources should their mate die. "Women who slept around collected more meat, protection, and resources from their lovers," Fisher says. "She might even have an extra child to create more genetic variety in her lineage; if some children die, others will live on." That theory is controversial and can’t be proven or disproven eons later. But experts say that women's motivations to have affairs are typically more than sexual. That's not to say that some women don't have affairs just for the sex or that sex wasn't important. But in general, women's motivations aren't just about sex. “I don't think women are doing it because they want to have more sex. But I don't think they mind if they get it," Reilly says. "It is not really about sex per se as much as the experience of being with somebody." Jumping Ship Lovely left her marriage emotionally long before she had an affair. She says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage. "You feel the loss of your dreams and hopes and how you thought things would turn out," Lovely says. "I was very lonely; I could never understand the concept of being lonely in a marriage until it happened." Lovely began to flirt with other men to get attention, but she never considered having an affair. After a business trip with a friend turned romantic, she began a long-term affair, a path she admits she was likely on anyway as her marriage dissolved. Using another partner to transition out of a bad marriage is one of the common reasons women have affairs. "They are on a sinking ship and use it as a life raft because they don't want to just jump into the cold water," Reilly says. She also sees some women have affairs during periods of vulnerability or life change, like when a child goes off to college or after a job loss. They may see it as a form of comfort during upheaval. Another common reason is a cry for help in the marriage. One of Reilly’s patients had an affair, ended it, and then told her husband as a way to point out they were in more trouble than he thought. Reilly says her clinical experience has shown that affairs are almost always caused by problems in the marriage. Therapy may be helpful to avoid going down that path. "People have affairs because they are looking for something," Reilly says. Although she sees a number of couples grappling with infidelity, "more people come to me [before it happens] because they want to save their marriage." Affairs with Intention Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens," because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say. Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens" because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say. Some women take time "to warm up to it," Marcella Weiner, adjunct professor at Marymount Manhattan College, says. "Going in and leaving quickly isn't their thing. Men can walk away more easily because their emotions are just different and it is unusual for a woman to want to have sex and forget about it.” It may be an old notion that women are the ones who get attached in a relationship, Reilly says. But she sees that women do connect with their partners in affairs and think more about taking part in one. "Women really can recognize the risk for them," Reilly says, pointing to the possibility of losing their partner because of an affair.

MENYAMYA MP PLANS TO FOCUS ON ROADS TO BRING SERVICE DELIVERY TO THE PEOPLE

Road upgrades and improvements would be a focus as a catalyst in the flow of service delivery to Menyamya District, says a Member of Parliament. Menyamya Member and the Vice Minister for Finance Benjamin Phillip said his government was rolling out and implementing its plans focused on the improvement and upgrade of the main highway from the Hidden Valley Junction in the Wau/Bulolo District to Menyamya station. He said satellite roads within the district would also be improved and upgraded as part of the implementation of its plans. “My government is focusing on improving the roads as we believe that it is through good roads that tangible service delivery can be felt by the people of Menyamya/Aseki,” Phillip said. “ Better roads means access for coffee growers to markets in Lae, which will equate to more cash flow and increase economic activity and also it reduces cost in bringing materials for infrastructural development in the district such as schools, health centers, and other district services”. “As such we have already commenced work since last year with 60-70 % of road works already being completed from a total funding of K12 million,” Phillip said. He said the obstacles that are slowing work progress are limited funding, bureaucratic red tape from the Provincial Supply Tenders Board, and lack of co-operation and partnership from the Morobe Provincial Government. Phillip said better road conditions is the key to service delivery and economic prosperity in his district and as such his government will slowly work at that to achieve the National governments and his districts policy objectives. He appealed to the district and provincial government to support him as it takes time for the outcomes to be achieved and not to use the media to attack him for political purposes.